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October is domestic violence awareness month!

This subject is very near to my heart and the reason why I started Kaleidolife in the first place. We all experience our own adversities, issues, and drama in our lifetime, but when someone you love hurts you, it breaks you down so much and leaves lasting scars.

My own experiences of abuse have given me a deep understanding and so much empathy when someone has to deal with this trauma. My broken heart led me to study domestic violence and trauma counseling. I felt that I needed to spread the word that there is hope for healing and getting out of your situation.

My biggest concern is for the children who get dragged into their parent’s abuse. As adults, we make our own choices and can deal with the consequences ourselves. But, children cannot stand up for themselves and simply get out when things get bad. They are helpless and learn these negative behaviors from their parents. They carry it well into their adulthood and so the vicious circle of abuse continues.

It is difficult. I am not going to sugar coat it. Some get help and manage to break free and start a new life for themselves and some just never do.  I do not have a magic wand that I can wave around and make all your troubles disappear. But feeling overwhelmed and alone will not help you walk back to a normal, calm peaceful life.

When dealing with an abusive partner/parent, it is imperative to realize that they do NOT have the same perspective or views of the situation than you do. They do NOT think that they are wrong or hurting you. They do NOT see themselves as the perpetrator or abuser. They do NOT understand that their behavior is destructive or abusive. And you will NOT be able to let them see otherwise. EVER! They need professional help or the cycle will continue until death.

Instead, they see themselves as strong and that they are taking charge of a situation that, in their mind, is out of control and needs to be saved by them. They feel that you “belong” to them and them alone and that this is how they show you how much they love and care for you. They feel that it is their duty as your partner/parent to teach you, keep you under control and manage your life for your own good.

They are normally very self-centered, arrogant, controlling and bombastic on the outside, but really insecure and scared on the inside. 90% of the time they have experienced abuse themselves at some point in their lives. You will never be able to change them. It does not matter how sweet and charming they are when they are trying to apologize for their behavior to win you back. The abuse will continue until you both get professional help and allow each other space away from each other to breathe and think.

As a domestic violence counselor, I am able to assist you in planning your safety plan, getting the appropriate resources for your specific area and situation.  I assist my clients in working alongside them in their plan and helping them achieve their goal to live a healthy, abuse-free life.

Building up confidence and your ability to choose what happens to you. Your self-worth and self-love are very important to prevent you from returning to the abuser, thinking that they love and care for you.

Once you have successfully removed yourself and your children from the abusive situation, I work with you through ongoing support and maintenance to ensure that you have the courage and confidence you need to start a fresh, beautiful Kaleidolife.

If you feel that you are ready to take on this transformational journey with me, contact me and set up your first appointment. If you are reading this, you know that you are not happy in your current situation. Take that very important first step today and trust your instincts. You are worth it!

If you or anybody you know is in immediate danger, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233 or TTY 1−800−787−3224. Or dial 211 now.

Domestic violence counseling is done via Zoom online secure platform or at a mutual safe space. I see domestic violence clients on a sliding scale module. Please contact me at (619)-618-9439 or wandafolife@gmail.com to set up your appointment.

Domestic violence counceling

Massage therapy for stress relief

The American Massage Therapy Association (AMTA) notes that massage therapy can be effective for stress relief. Stress is a prevalent component in today’s fast-paced world which can negatively impact on an individual’s health and well-being. Massage therapy has been shown to be a means by which stress can be reduced significantly on physical and psychological levels. While massage therapists know from experience that massage reduces stress, there is considerable research that validates our experience.

In a study on the effect of trigger point therapy, there was a significant decrease in heart rate, systolic blood pressure, and diastolic blood pressure. Measures of oxygen consumption, blood pressure, and salivary cortisol levels were all lower after a 10 to 15-minute massage in controlled studies.

Changes in psychological states have been measured by physiological responses, the Perceived Stress Scale, the POMS Depression Scale, and the Anxiety State Scale. In these studies, all subjects in the massage group showed significant changes in emotional states and stress levels.

Stress is a response to pressure or threat. Under stress, we may feel tense, nervous, or on edge. The stress response is physical, too. Stress triggers a surge of a hormone called adrenaline that temporarily affects the nervous system.

Stress suppresses the immune system, which makes it easier for you to get sick and harder to fight off bugs. When people are stressed, they get sick. It could be a cold or cold sores, which pop up because the immune system can’t suppress the virus. These are just symptoms, but the underlying cause is stress.

It is imperative to your health to take action steps to combat the effects of stress. Like with most of our problems, stress will not just go away by itself. Long after we have sorted out a stressful situation, our bodies still feel the effects of stress. You need to be proactive in managing your stress levels and book regular stress management sessions with your therapist.

I utilize a variety of different modalities that have been proven to combat stress and its effects on our minds and bodies. Take that first step to wellness today and contact me to book your stress management consultation.

I look forward to assisting you in living a Kaleidolife!

http://kaleidolife.amtamembers.com

What would you like to achieve this year?

Allow yourself to heal

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